So a lot has happened since I last posted. My love returned home. It was an incredible reunion. It does seem like it never happened....yet our hearts can def tell that it has. Sometimes I find myself watching him and thinking, "Really? Two years has seriously gone by...I REALLY have him back now? For good? We can finally move on now?" We took things nice and easy, attended the temple together, and both knew that we couldn't live without the other. Life just isn't as enjoyable. I'm a total pansie...I know. But really, days are so much more colorful when they are spent with him. I admit though, that I hope that my children have no close relationships before their missions. TOO HARD! :) So Bailey popped the question exactly a month after we had been reunited. I had no idea it was coming. He practically begged me to go to Idaho Falls with him and I was completely lost bc I didn't understand why he would want me to go and watch him work. Well little did I know that many people were involved in this whole scheme and I was just clueless. The night we stayed he told me that he wouldn't be able to propose for a few weeks which also threw me even farther of the idea he was going to ask. February 8th he insisted on taking me to a special spot in Rexburg. I was trying to get him to change his mind due to shortage of time and bc Rexburg is freezing haha. Well we did go and he for some reason got all cleaned up, lookin nice and spiffy....huh. Then....he drove REALLY fast...once again....huh. We got to our special river and he took me out in middle and gave me a hug. In middle of the nice hug he said my name REAL serious....like, I've never heard him say my name so serious. When I looked up at him he started reaching into his pocket....my belly started to twirl as my mind raced, "No way....he isn't.....oh yes he is...." He then popped the question and had a beautiful ring. I gladly said yes and we ran back to the warm car! :) He picked out the perfect ring, I love it and it's just what I wanted. It's fun when you both like the exact same things. I'm very excited to start our life together. It's rather a stressful and scary process...but yet not at the same time. I can't wait. Marriage is a....scary thing. Even after my mission I found myself shying away from the thought for a while. I don't want things to ever get...OLD. I want to stay gitty and young forever. I don't want to get "use" to each other. I just don't want to ever loose the incredible feelings that young love has. Bc of my feelings after my mission I've been able to actually learn a lot. There are ways to keep things new and fresh :) And...marriage isn't 50/50....it's 100/100. Yes there will be rough times, and we will have misunderstandings, but as long as we are both committed to each other, focusing on the other and their needs, focusing on their qualities and strengths, together we can make marriage a beauiful fun thing. Together we will experience new things and fall in love with them over and over again as we continue to get to know each other. Something that I've learned about Bailey in just the past few days is that he really pays attention to the small things and he continues to learn about me every day. Like randomly the other night I said that I was craving that grape gum that is like a foot long. While I was distracted by our FHE Wii bowling tournament he quickly raced in my car to the resort to get me some gum. They didn't have any, but he did it. Then he remembered that there was this mexican bakery that I had mentioned I wanted to go in sometime. For Love Day he got desert from there. So thoughtful. I'm learning a lot. Oh and save the date....May 6th :) So that is the great news. But...I can def say that being a RM isn't really all that great. Actually....it really....SUCKS. It's been really hard....and I mean hard. I got home to find that it's a lot harder to have the spirit 24/7 at home than it is on my mission. I have to actually work for it. I have applied to a dozen jobs and heard nothing. So I sit at home and try to do little projects and find people to serve. I really try to implement Sister Phillips to RM Lynette Phillips. Satan works on me a lot....just like any RM, with feelings of crap like worthlessness and idleness and such. But I'm hangin on to hope. I'm sure that once I get a nice steady job and am making money that things will def look up. Hopefully it will help with my trunkyness.... Ya. Trunkyness. I miss New York like CRAZY. I want to go back so bad. My dream was to go back and live there for a season. Just the summer. To go back and dance and experience. I know that it woudn't be the same....that it may even be really hard to return. Even the thought of returning to some of my areas is kinda.....scary when I realize I won't have my "calling" or name badge with the name of my Savior on my chest. But my heart cries for the spirit their. The spirit of the many people gathered there. The spirit of gathering is such a beautiful one. I constantly crave it. I miss having the opportunity to teach and share my testimony daily. I miss meeting new people everyday. I miss feeling like I changed a life or serving on numerous different occasions, daily. I miss my New York family. The last baptism I was apart of, Maria, actually offered us to stay with her during the summer. She has a beautiful 8 bedroom house on the ocean and she's the only one that lives there other than the part that she rents out. Oh how I would love to go and live the experience, just for a summer. It's actually a very hard situation....my heart cried but I quiet it. Do I listen? Bailey isn't in favor of going. It's honestly quite the leap. I can understand. But I'm trying really hard to understand and figure out what is best. Life has so much to offer. I do hope that I am taking advantage of it all. I want to live big. I want to experience lots. I want to get out of Idaho and Utah and live. But...perhaps that is bad of me. Maybe this is when a dream must stay a dream. Well now that I've bore you to death with my newest adventures I'll let you go. For now....
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Leaving the great spirit of New York was not an easy transition. The spirit of all those who are gathered from all parts of the world in one place is incredible...especially Christmas. I loved sitting on the train and gazing out the windows at the Christmas lighted snow covered streets. Being a servant of the Lord for 18 months was the best thing I've done yet. Being a tool in the Lord's hands, feeling the Spirit guiding me daily, and meeting so many new people each day was incredible. I didn't realize how great of a time it was until I returned home. As a missionary we have to be worthy of the spirit...24/7, and if not, then we cannot teach. So for 18 months we are in an environment that is contention free and filled with the fruit of the spirit...joy, peace, long-suffering, etc. It's no wonder missionaries are seen to be happy all the time. I've never experienced anything like that before. What a feeling! I can't imagine Heaven....that feeling 24/7.... I wasn't expecting the transition to be this hard. Being away for 18 months/2 years, we missionaries can't wait for the reunion. We imagine it picture perfect, yet fail to realize that what we have then is not going to be at home. It's much harder to have that spirit 24/7 in normal life. I learned how to do that as a missionary, and now I have the opportunity to learn to do that at home. I miss New York, the people, the spirit, the missionaries, teaching...and I can say that it was the best time of my life. I'm learning to grasp change. There is alot of change in the mission so you are forced to like it then. Change of location, change of companion....you even learn to change YOU. I know that there are more "best times of my life" to come and instead of looking back, I will take all that I've learned and become, and enforce that into my future. I can become a better me every day. Every day we can knock down walls of who we are, and rebuild walls of who God wants us to be. It hurts...but when it's done it's better than before. I've become stronger, and more undersanding of who I am....in God's eyes. I'm truly His daughter... each of us are His individual children. He can see such great potential in us and who we are to become, and we can pray to see through his eyes. I'm so grateful for the opportunity that I had to work hand in hand with my Father in Heaven. I'm grateful for his sacrifice in providing his only begotten son so that I can return to him someday. I'm so grateful for my brother and savior who suffered for me...who felt my every pain, sickness, sorrow, and sin. As I reflect on years now gone, I have seen the many times that he has carried me until I could walk again. I owe Him and my Father everything. I know they live, that Christ lives again, in perfect glory, and that He will come again. This gospel is God's true gospel...it changes lives and I've seen it. What a blessing to be apart of this dispensation when it is in it's fullness. Thank you everyone for your love and support while I was away and your continual love and support. I wouldn't be where I am today w/o you.
Posted by nEtTiE*sKeTtiE at 10:44 AM
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Anyone wanting to come, my farewell will be May 31st at the Riverdale church at 1pm. There will be dinner afterwards. Hope to see some cute familiar faces! Time has taken its tole and its coming fast. Nerves are most definitely starting to kick in. So there is a little update. :) Love you all!
Posted by nEtTiE*sKeTtiE at 12:01 PM
Sunday, March 29, 2009
So its been a while since I've posted and quite a bit has happened. Blessings upon blessing were poured upon me and things really started working out. I was super excited to accept my call to serve in the Independence Missouri Visitors Center. The thought of knowing the same people and going to mission reunions together was exciting. The eternal prespective was a fun way to look at it! I loved the idea and thought what are the odds! We can't just help but be seperated for too long. The day I was sending my acceptance letter I got a call from Bishop telling me i was reassigned to the New York, New York South Mission. Long story short. I was hurt and heart broken and actually...upset. Bailey and I had a hard time with this and I thought that meeting w/the stake pres would help. I also was able to go out with Jenna and James and they were great! I love them both! James was able to bring so much comfort to me and my situation! So I met with Pres. Mumford and he said he didn't know anything other than he had recieved a call from the mission dept. calling to verify that "my fiance was in the same mission." So who's to know, but after time to think, I know that the Lord wouldn't have anything happen that was against his will. I'm sad bc my heart was set on Independence but know that its not where I serve, it's HOW I serve (Bishop Fryar). Thanks everyone for the amazing support. I am super excited to get out there and do my best. I know everything will all work out.
Also! Thanks to my family who came to the temple with me! It was a beautiful experience and I loved seeing you there. And my thoughts and prayers were with those who couldn't make it. I love you.
Posted by nEtTiE*sKeTtiE at 8:00 PM
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I got my mission call....you should really just watch the video. I tell people but they don't believe me. So see for yourself!
Posted by nEtTiE*sKeTtiE at 11:12 PM
Sunday, February 15, 2009
So, valentines day wasn't half as bad as I expected. On Friday, I saw the Edwards Floral guy delivering flowers to a girl at work and I seriously broke down crying....lol yup. I, along with my mom, have had emotions up the wazoo. With moving and grandma and mission and my best friend gone.....ya.....
Posted by nEtTiE*sKeTtiE at 3:56 PM