change*

Leaving the great spirit of New York was not an easy transition. The spirit of all those who are gathered from all parts of the world in one place is incredible...especially Christmas. I loved sitting on the train and gazing out the windows at the Christmas lighted snow covered streets. Being a servant of the Lord for 18 months was the best thing I've done yet. Being a tool in the Lord's hands, feeling the Spirit guiding me daily, and meeting so many new people each day was incredible. I didn't realize how great of a time it was until I returned home. As a missionary we have to be worthy of the spirit...24/7, and if not, then we cannot teach. So for 18 months we are in an environment that is contention free and filled with the fruit of the spirit...joy, peace, long-suffering, etc. It's no wonder missionaries are seen to be happy all the time. I've never experienced anything like that before. What a feeling! I can't imagine Heaven....that feeling 24/7.... I wasn't expecting the transition to be this hard. Being away for 18 months/2 years, we missionaries can't wait for the reunion. We imagine it picture perfect, yet fail to realize that what we have then is not going to be at home. It's much harder to have that spirit 24/7 in normal life. I learned how to do that as a missionary, and now I have the opportunity to learn to do that at home. I miss New York, the people, the spirit, the missionaries, teaching...and I can say that it was the best time of my life. I'm learning to grasp change. There is alot of change in the mission so you are forced to like it then. Change of location, change of companion....you even learn to change YOU. I know that there are more "best times of my life" to come and instead of looking back, I will take all that I've learned and become, and enforce that into my future. I can become a better me every day. Every day we can knock down walls of who we are, and rebuild walls of who God wants us to be. It hurts...but when it's done it's better than before. I've become stronger, and more undersanding of who I am....in God's eyes. I'm truly His daughter... each of us are His individual children. He can see such great potential in us and who we are to become, and we can pray to see through his eyes. I'm so grateful for the opportunity that I had to work hand in hand with my Father in Heaven. I'm grateful for his sacrifice in providing his only begotten son so that I can return to him someday. I'm so grateful for my brother and savior who suffered for me...who felt my every pain, sickness, sorrow, and sin. As I reflect on years now gone, I have seen the many times that he has carried me until I could walk again. I owe Him and my Father everything. I know they live, that Christ lives again, in perfect glory, and that He will come again. This gospel is God's true gospel...it changes lives and I've seen it. What a blessing to be apart of this dispensation when it is in it's fullness. Thank you everyone for your love and support while I was away and your continual love and support. I wouldn't be where I am today w/o you.